breakeven

thanks for making my xmas a very special one. though there's nothing much, i felt that it was special cos i got to spend it with you. nothing else matters when i get to be with you. thanks again love!

here i am all alone again at home. feeling all sian again. i just cant seem to get enough of you. though i spent almost the whole day with u yesterday, i just cant get enough of u. hopelessly, falling in love with you, every single day.

u told me u mean every single word that you said, i trust you. i'll be lying if i said i don't feel paranoid at times. i would think of what you and him will do when you and him are tgt. and i really hate that feeling. not saying that i dont trust you, but its a natural feeling. when someone breaks the trust, it really is quite difficult to fully trust the person again. i need you to help me. do ur part as well. pls?

u want me to hang out with them. yes, i can. but not all the time. i really do not have the spending power to go out with them all the time. when they go out, they watch movie and that costs money. and me = no $$. :/ and no offense though, i just cant seem to 'click' with them. i really don't know why. maybe its the jokes they make? or they're just plain boring in my eyes. and i hate it when he's around. awkward-ness to the max. i have to put up a false pretense all the time.

i really want us to be back tgt again, like old times. where everything is just too sweet to be true. WHAM! back to reality. that wont happen. i really don't want you to spend time with him and only him. it really makes me go insane when i know that u'r meeting him alone. i hate it. u can tell me ur just treating him as a friend, but from his pov, he'll see it as an opportunity to get u back. and i really don't want that.

i'm waiting every single day, hoping that this will end asap. you need time, i give you time. but all i can say is that there's a limit to everyone's patience. i can't wait forever.

soccer is in 3-4 hours time. zzz tmr and sun training. sunday, will be going out with amal and shen. really looking forward to that. darn bored now. zzz. bye.
12/26/2008 07:29:00 PM

goal scored!